Just An Inch
by Manda Louise
Summary: What if Haruhi had come to Ouran And met the Host Club as a girl? My rendition of Ouran if that were true. AU.
1. Slaps Are Worth 1,000 Words

There were several things Haruhi Fujioka didn't care about. Looks would be one of them, being tactful another. In her opinion, you shouldn't waste words, and you shouldn't waste time, so to fumble with words has no purpose. To mess with your hair was tedious and annoying. She was brilliant, but lazy. So, when a boy from her neighborhood stuck some gum in her hair, she did the only logical thing: She cut it out.

You may be thinking that she cut all her hair off or something crazy like that, but in truth she liked her hair, even if she didn't particularly like to fuss over it. She only cut out the one loch of hair that had gum in it. It didn't even show, and Haruhi looked just as beautiful as she had before. Yes, Haruhi was beautiful. Basically, she had a crowd of boys following her around wherever she went. Not that she ever noticed them; she was very dense when it came to love.

There came a time when she would graduate middle school, and make her way onward to high school. That time of the year was always busy for third years, looking for applications and filling in forms. Haruhi wanted to become a lawyer, so naturally she looked for the best high school she could find so she could have the best possible education when applying for university. The high school she eventually picked was top-notch, the very best she could find. Some rich kid school called Ouran Academy. The price went unnoticed as she easily passed first the entrance exam and then the scholarship one.

During this time (she was a splendid multi-tasker) she was also shooing off boys that were pursuing her like flies, they were a nuisance that kept her from her studies and she didn't have time for them. She had never had a boyfriend, and the fact that the crowd of hopefuls (not that she knew they were hopefuls at all) would be gone if she went to Ouran was an unexpected perk.

One hot afternoon, Haruhi returned from her summer job to find no less than twenty acceptance letters from all the various schools she had applied to incase she wasn't accepted into Ouran (She was nothing if not prepared). One very large pale blue envelope caught her eye. Picking it up, she examined the heavy package and fancy seal and knew she had gotten in.

The time flew quickly after that. Summer passed in a blur, and in no time at all she was standing at the wrought iron gate gazing in awe at the large castle-like school. She had been there before, to examine the facilities, but every time she saw it the school amazed her even more.

As she was led in for the entrance ceremony, she dropped her contacts and some little boy stepped on them. She pulled the extra pair she always kept on her for occasions like this (Didn't I tell you she was always prepared?) out of her pocket and popped them in. Haruhi then continued on to the massive building the actual event was taking place in.

Once that was over, she hastily said goodbye to her father and went off to her first class. Of course, that was when her real journey began.

Haruhi:

My first period at Ouran was a productive one, the teacher gave a typical first day speech and introduced me to the class. Apparently all these kids have been at this school together since they were little, so I would be the new one, the commoner freak. Great. Anyway, after the teacher introduced me he gave a little speech on what he would have in store for us during the year and gave us some forms we should get signed. Mostly it was the same routine for every period: speech and then forms, and nothing surprised me at all. The only notable thing that happened all day is that a crowd of boys started to follow me. It was the same as what happened last year, and it was just as annoying. Why did they follow me at all? What do I have that they want?

At lunch I sat in an empty classroom to get a crack on the books our teacher had told us we would be reading in English during the year. I had already read all of them, but it didn't hurt to read them again. When the bell rang for the final time that day I was already on top of the minimal amount of homework we were given, and had plans to make use of the library and start on the paper our teacher had told us was due at the end of the month.

My shoes made squeaking noises as I treaded down the hallway, and the buttery yellow dress, which I had painstakingly replicated earlier in the week using the pictures on Ouran's website and some fabric, swished back and forth. I peeked into the first library, and, upon seeing that it was full, closed the door again. The second was also jammed full of people, as well as the third. It was ridiculous. The place had four libraries, and it was the first day of school, you would think at least one of them would be empty.

I stared in exasperation at the assembled girls in the last library. Really? Did they have to clump in here like that? They didn't even look like they were studying, just like they were gossiping. As I stood there, snatches of the girl's conversations reached my ears. "Aaahh," One of them was saying, "It's good to be back. Did you hear? The Host Club is planning something special for their one year anniversary. We should head up there once they open!" Host Club? There was a Host Club here? That figures.

"Ooooh, yeah! I want to go see Tamaki, I so missed him over the summer!"

"You want to see Tamaki? Why not Kyoya? He's cuter, and, like, he does all the smart stuff. It's way cool!"

Anxious to be out of there, I backed away quickly. Where could I study now? If my memory serves me correctly, there is an abandoned music room in the upper halls. Maybe that would be empty?

"Oh no, the amazing forbidden love of the Hitachiin Brothers is defiantly the best."

I turned and ran the other way. It would have to do.

Moving about Ouran takes time, but I was in a hurry, so I rushed as fast as I could through the halls to the room. Wrenching open the doors, I looked around, relieved to have finally made it and because I could finally study in relative peace. What I saw made me stop dead in my tracks.

Six boys sat in front of me, all with smiles on their faces. "Welcome!" They shouted in unison.

"Wha- but- abandoned- WHAT?" was all I could manage to splutter out. Had I just interrupted a club meeting or something? But what kind of club operates out of an abandoned music room?

"Oh look, out first customer of the year." Said two red haired twins at the same time. Now that I was looking at them, they were actually the people that sat on either side of me in class.

"Congratulations, princess." A blond boy said from the center of the group. "You look like you ran all the way here. You were extremely lucky to have gotten here before everyone else!" He sprang up, "You look surprised! Are you surprised because of our stunning beauty? Feel free to faint, don't worry. If you do," At this point he was looking directly into my brown eyes with his blue ones, "I'll catch you."

My eyebrows shot up, and my hand shot out. The resounding SLAP rang through the air.

**This chapter's kind of . . . meh. I wrote it a while ago, and found it again while**


	2. Karate

**Just a heads up, I'm changing things around from the original story. First, Hunny never quit the karate club. Somehow, he manages to both be a host and be the captain of the karate club at the same time. It's an AU, I can do what I want. Reading back over this, the paragraphs were longer then I intended them to be. But whatever!**

**Many thanks to my two reviewers, and to all the people that put this on their alert/favorite list.**

**Just to let you know, I don't own this series. Why would I be here, writing fanfiction about it, if I did?**

Nobody moved while Haruhi pulled her hand back, staring at it with a slightly questioning look on her face. This look was probably because of her appendages newfound will to come into contact with people's faces, but one could never be sure with Haruhi. The so called "hosts" were equally quiet when the brown haired girl swung around and marched firmly out the door, now free to worry about whether there was actually any place truly quiet within the whole school.

After a bit of thought, she came to the conclusion that no, there wasn't. This led her to a series of back and forth debates about where to try next. Finally, when this mental battle was over, she had decided on going to one of the many sports gyms. She had considered finding a nice bit of shade outside in the grass, but when she had peered out the window the bright yellow and soft blue of the schools uniform had covered every square inch. How many people were in this school anyway?

Normally, one would think the gym would be an odd choice, but that was because they didn't appreciate the calm feel of a team that was actually practicing. Again an in-the-head battle was held over which sports building she should visit, and she finally went with the karate dojo. Why? It was close, which was a plus since her little encounter from earlier and her exploration of the libraries had severely cut her time short. She had also figured that karate would be well disciplined, and with discipline came quiet.

Happy with her decision, Haruhi set off to find the dojo, the six boys from earlier completely erased from her mind.

***The Host Club Is Open For Business***

Nobody was frozen for long after Haruhi left. It was as if a spell had been placed on them that wore off when she left the room. They snapped back into action when three girls in yellow (who were, in fact, the very same ones who drove Haruhi from the fourth library) pushed open the heavy wooden doors and squeaked out greetings.

As more girls filed in, the usual sounds of light banter, high pitched squealing, laughter, and the clinking of teacups filled the room, and the brown haired girl was almost forgotten. Almost. One raven haired boy was still typing away at his laptop, checking and "borrowing" (he preferred this term over hacking) files on one Haruhi Fujioka.

One would think that it would be tedious, sorting through achievements and mentions of awards in some random stranger's personal file, but this particular host found it enjoyable. He was learning new things about a new person that could be useful to him later, and that was always a bearable task.

Something about this pretty (and apparently brilliant) scholarship student had made them all stop and stare; he knew everyone else had felt it too. Something about this commoner had stumped them, and looking through her files he could almost grasp what it was. The elusive thought, however, had decided to play dirty, and was jumping out of reach whenever he thought he had about figured it out.

Pushing his glasses up his nose with more force than necessary, he searched even harder through the documents. Something about her was special, something that he couldn't figure out, and he certainly was up for the challenge of finding out what.

If he had been paying more attention to what was happening around him, the appropriately named "Shadow King" would have heard the groaning sounds emanating from a group of girls clustered around a tiny blond boy.

"Hunny, do you really have to go?" A girl said from the crowd.

"I'm really sorry ladies, but I have to be at karate practice in ten minutes! I always have to do that on Mondays, remember? Or did you," at this point his eyes welled up with tears, "did you forget all about it over the summer break? Is that it?"

"Oh no, Hunny!" Another fan girl rushed to reassure him.

"Yeah, we'd never do that! In fact, to make it up to you I'll make you a cake for tomorrow!"

At this the blond visibly brightened up. "Thanks," He said in his normal falsetto, flashing a smile that made half the girls swoon, "but I have to go now! It's the first meeting of the Karate club all year, and I really can't be late!" He dashed out the door, pulling his cousin by the hand as he went. "Goodbye!" He called over his shoulder.

Once outside the room, his cheerful demeanor hardened into something more mature. He handed his beloved bunny to his much taller friend and said, "Takashi, I'm giving this to you for safe keeping. You can go home if you want."

Predictably, Mori just shrugged his shoulders and let out a noncommittal "Ngh." He walked the other way down the halls, knowing that Hunny would be just fine without him.

He was right, of course, as he always was. The little blond senior was running down the halls thinking 'Look out guys, I'm back.' He entered through the changing rooms, switching his blue blazer for an intimidating looking white gi with his customary black belt knotted tightly around his waist.

As soon as he entered the whole room went silent, and the assembled club members turned in a perfect bow. The glint in Hunny's eyes said he was finally in his fighting mode, and if he noticed the girl sitting beside a stack of books in the corner of the room, he didn't acknowledge her.

He started things off with a speech that went something like this. "Well guys, it's been a good break. The important thing is, I'm back now. There's a competition coming up in about a month. I know it's a little close to now, but I really think we can make it. I'll be grappling, and competing in some other things, so I want you guys to tell me what you'd like to do and I can sign you up for it. This is my senior year, so let's make this good, 'kay?" It wasn't particularly touching, but what did you expect?

Hunny thought the rest of practice went well. He made the team run for a while (five miles to start with, because they were getting back in shape) then do exercises, then instructed them to practice some forms for 15 minutes while he coached a couple of the people he thought needed it. All in all, it was a very good day.

When the whole practice was over and he had changed out of his gi, he started to head out when a flash of yellow caught his eye. Upon closer examination, he saw that it was not only a girl, but also the one who had slapped Tamaki earlier that afternoon. He headed to the corner the girl was occupying herself in, and peered at what she was doing. From what he could tell, she had immersed herself in a pile of Shakespeare and had been sitting there for the whole practice. This train of thought stemmed from the fact that she was almost finished with her second book. What can I say? She's a fast reader.)

He stared at her, wondering if he should say something. He was supposed to lock the doors when he left, but he couldn't do that if she was sitting here. Somehow, though, he couldn't bring himself to interrupt the look of utter concentration on her face. He was on the verge of tapping her on the shoulder when she paused while turning a page.

"Well, how long are you going to stand there staring? If you don't have something to say, then leave."

**This chapter seems kind of like a filler, but it was needed. Bleh. As I wanted to say in the last authors note, I found the first chapter of this story a while ago and am just continuing it now. Just like I predicted, this chapter defiantly is better and my writing has improved since I wrote the first one. Another thing, does anyone know how to find a beta reader?**


	3. Newton's Laws

**I'm back with a new chapter! Sorry it took so long, I've been otherwise engaged throughout the past couple of days. (That's a fancy way of saying I've had zero inspiration and have been being really lazy, to let you know.) I got many emails and notifications about this story, so again thanks to the people that added it to their alert/subscription lists. Oh, and thanks to pretty-little-liar-girl70 and HaruhiLockMeAwayFujioka for adding this to their alert, subscription, author alert, and favorite stories lists. Thanks for being so epic!\**

**Me no own Ouran. You get picture now. You no sue Manda now.**

_For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction._

Haruhi had first heard that phrase when she was reading through an old physics text-book of her mother's at the age of five. Haruhi had not understood it at the time, and since the text-book's definition was not sufficient enough for her she had looked for another explanation for it besides that of forces and motion. At the time, she had thought of it as a sort of metaphor, like something about how your actions will reward you, and for every bad event there is an equal and opposite good one.

Even as she had grown up and found that that was not at all what that meant, she had kept it as her motto. After all, she had seen nothing to disprove it thus far. Her mother died, and then she got into Ouran. Her father became drunk, and because of it he got a job.

Mostly, Haruhi was a pessimist. Actually, it was more like she was a realistic person. To most people, it's the same thing. There are some times, though, when your life gets so bad that you have to be optimistic or you go crazy. Haruhi was not one to go crazy. This one of Newton's laws was the closest thing she could get to optimism at the time she had first read it, so she tended to think of it at the strangest times.

When she had slapped the blond boy in the "abandoned" music room, she had not been thinking of Newton's laws, optimism, or repercussions. Her only thoughts were of how to get rid of the blond boy only an inch away from her face.

Now, as she sat in the karate dojo watching another blond boy (not the one she had slapped, another shorter one) she wondered if there would be unforeseen consequences of what she had done. Haruhi knew better than anyone that you didn't just _go_ to Ouran Academy. There had to be a reason you went there, either because you were incredibly rich or incredibly smart.

If Haruhi had slapped the wrong person, it could get her expelled. The thought wasn't entirely unwelcome, but she'd hate to feel like she had let her father down. Yet she was too stubborn a person to just go apologize to the guy, so she could only hope that he'd forget about it.

As she lost herself in one of Shakespeare's many works, the brown haired girl let these fears wash away. But, as Haruhi would know better than anyone, fears never seem to stay buried for long.

After what seemed like a few minutes to Haruhi, and what was actually a few hours to the rest of the world, she saw a pair of feet walk up to her. She didn't pause in her reading, hoping whoever it was would just go away. Unfortunately, they didn't take the hint. For a while they stayed like that, Haruhi reading and the unfamiliar someone standing watching her. Finally, Haruhi began to tire of it. Was it that hard to let someone read in peace?

"Well, how long are you going to stand there staring? If you don't have something to say, then leave."

She immediately wished she hadn't said it. Something about this school was getting to her, and she had been snapping at more people than ever today. The boy seemed undeterred by the hostile tone, tough, and to Haruhi's immense surprise he began to laugh.

"Oh, no I wasn't." The boy said, regaining his composure at last. "Actually, I was just about to try and get your attention. I need you to move. I need to lock the place up." He ended with flashing up an adorable smile at her, one Haruhi didn't react to.

"Well if that's it, why didn't you just say so? I would have moved a long time ago if you had just told me you needed me to." She was slightly annoyed by the little boy. She could have gone home! Looking at her wristwatch, she noticed that it was 6:30. She should have been home half an hour ago! Her father would be back any minute. It wasn't that she was strict, on the contrary he wouldn't really mind if she stayed out a bit later than normal, but Haruhi had really wanted to actually cook him dinner that night.

"Look, it was nice meeting you but I really have to go."

"Well that's okay." The boy replied. "My name's Haninozuka Mitsukuni, in case you were wondering." He seemed to stop, perhaps reacting to her frantic checking of her watch again. "If you need a ride, I can give you one. I wouldn't mind at all, as long as you wouldn't care if we had some sweets on the way."

Haruhi was certainly not expecting that. Even though this person was technically a stranger, she _was_ late, and letting this person drive her home would reduce a half hour walk to a ten minute drive. "Ok. I'm Fujioka Haruhi, Haninozuka-sempai."

The boy made a face. "Just Hunny is fine. My family name is so long!"

"Okay, Hunny-sempai."

Rolling his eyes, the boy led her out to a long black limo. Opening the door, he found Mori waiting for him. He let out a joyful cry and leapt in the car to him. Turning to Haruhi, he announced, "This is my cousin, Morinozuka Takashi. You can call him Mori, 'kay? I knew you'd be here Takashi. He always comes to pick me up from karate. Mori, this is Fujioka Haruhi. She's gonna be riding with us today!" Mori just let out a grunt.

Haruhi looked around, slightly amazed that it could look even bigger from the outside than it did from the inside. Her jaw dropped when Hunny pressed a button and sweets came out from a side compartment. It dropped even farther when he proceeded to devour said sweets, and ask for more, in ten seconds flat.

Suddenly, Hunny stopped eating. "Haru-chan," he asked, looking as serious as a short boy with frosting on his nose could be, "Why did you slap Tama-chan?"

Haruhi decided to ignore the nickname and focus on the question. "Tama-chan? You mean that blond idiot? I'm not sure. It just seemed to be the best course of action at the time."

"Oh." Hunny seemed to be thinking this over. "That makes sense!" He said, and one could almost see the flowers dancing behind him as he said it. Haruhi sweatdropped at the complete change in attitude.

"I have a question, though." Haruhi announced. "I've only read a bit about host clubs. I can honestly say that I don't really understand what they do. What do you do to make all those girls want to see you so much?"

"Well, since Takashi and I are in it, why don't you come see us? You could come tomorrow, after school!"

"I don't know Sempai. I don't really think I'd be welcomed there. I did slap that blond guy, after all." Privately she thought that from what she did know of host clubs she wouldn't have gone anywhere near one anyway.

"Please?" The Hunny said, his eyes getting huge and watery with tears, "For me? Or for Usa-Chan?" He said, holding up the stuffed bunny.

Even Haruhi couldn't deny that face. In fact, no one with an inch of feeling could. "Oh alright. But just for a little while."

"YAY!" The blond senior cried, and Haruhi sweatdropped once more.

**Was that good? I didn't really like the way it ended, but I was pressed for time. I don't know, the paragraphs are a bit long again, but what can you do? I feel like once I upload it they won't look nearly as long and I'll be left feeling stupid. Whatever, I'll worry about that when it happens. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Teacups and laughter and chess, oh my!

**Hey, guess what! I'm extremely lazy! And not dead! Hehe, I should've been writing this story, but I was on vacation! From the world! And from sanity! I like short sentences! And exclamation points! **

**This chapter is dedicated to Zerofourone. Thanks, buddy! You really helped me out here!**

**I don't own Ouran! Nya! ^.^**

_Tick. Tick. Tick. Bong!_

In a normal school, there weren't grandfather clocks ticking when you were trying to concentrate.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. Bong._

Was it her, or was time speeding up?

_Tick. Tick. Tick. BRING!_

Apparently, it wasn't just her.

The day had gone by quickly for Haruhi Fujioka. In fact, it had gone by so quickly that she wasn't sure it had actually happened at all. But no, when she looked at her watch it displayed a perfect three o'clock. Where had the time gone? Technically, she was headed towards the third music room and the people it held, but her feet just weren't cooperating. They had turned, almost of their own accord, off the path she was supposed to be following, and seemed intent on making her late for her appointment with a certain blond senior, Hunny.

Actually, it wasn't just her feet that were conspiring against her; every instinct in her body was screaming that this was a bad idea. She had seen over the course of the day that news of her talk with Hunny had spread. How they had found out that she had received a ride from him she would never know, but the amount of glares she received had tripled. This, Haruhi thought, was a rather odd reaction for sitting in the car with someone who was nice enough to offer a ride, but she didn't question it. She had noticed that this particular group of girls hadn't liked her much anyway, even before the whole hoopla started about her and Hunny, so she really was used to it.

Never the less, maybe spending an hour in the company of every single one of the girls who hated her wasn't such a good idea. It was odd, she reflected, to feel intimidated by them, just because they were rich. It wasn't even that she really _was_ intimidated, in fact she felt pity for these girls who were obviously in need of some good parental care, but that she was naturally quiet, and suddenly being the center of every person's attention, good or bad, was unnerving.

As she finally forced her body to obey her and plodded up to the huge door that was the entrance to the host club, her resolve was strengthened a bit by the sight of Hunny and Mori waiting for her. Apparently, none of the other girls were there yet.

"Hello, Haru-chan!" Hunny shouted as she approached. "Takashi and I were waiting for you!" Haruhi just nodded, set her jaw, put her hand on the door handle, and pushed.

The four people on the other side of the door looked back at her, wondering what she was doing here. Tamaki, unsurprisingly, was the first person to break the silence. "Hey!" He said, in astonished recognition, "I know you! You're the one who slapped me!" Haruhi instantly was on the defensive, for some reason despising him.

"It's not my fault! I just came in here running from, as it turned out, talk of you guys that was disrupting my peace! I just wanted to study! I even checked the school map, which said disused music room on it. I tried to tell you, I really tried, that I didn't want your services, and yet somehow that bit of information didn't get into your abnormally thick skull! And so, when you started gallivanting on about princely types and creepy things, then got entirely too close to me for comfort, I slapped you! What's your problem, anyway? Do you expect every single girl to just meet you every demand?" In time, she ceased her rambling, and upon stopping noticed that Tamaki was huddled in the corner. Shrugging, she turned away.

Suddenly, she felt two pairs of elbows resting on her shoulders. "HAHAHAHAH That was perfect!" Hikaru said from her left.

"Yeah, really perfect!" Said Kaoru from her right. Finally, they calmed a bit.

"I'm Hikaru." Said the twin on her right.

"Kaoru!" Said the one on her left.

"Uh huh, sure you are." Haruhi shot back.

"Excuse me,"

"But what are you talking about?" The twins said.

"Me? What am _I_ talking about? I'm talking about how you switched names to try and confuse me! Does everyone in this school think I'm an idiot?" She snapped. Usually, she was calm. Usually, no one could get a reaction out of her. Today was not one of those days. Actually, it was rather odd that she was snapping at people. But whatever.

Girls had started to pour in the doors behind her, laughing and chatting and generally making too much noise, and Haruhi instinctively moved closer to her two upperclassmen. Hunny and Mori just looked at her in amusement. "If you think this is bad," they chuckled, "wait 'till we actually start hosting."

Haruhi groaned. "Why did I want to do this? Why why why?" The grandfather clock, which had seemed to speed up during class, now was barely even ticking, and the minutes seemed determined to crawl by at an infinitely slow pace. As soon as the hour hand _finally_ struck four, she shoved out of her seat, prepared to bolt. She was stopped by two caramel eyes, widened to the size of saucers, and belonging to a certain blond sempai.

"Haru-chan? Yo-you're leaving already?"

Haruhi, cursing those puppy dog eyes of his to their very existence, sat back down. "Apparently not." She muttered.

"YAY!" Hunny yelled, tears somehow vanishing. "Haru-chan, play a game with me!" He pulled a chess board out of, well, nowhere, and set it up. "You be white!" He declared, and so the game began. Finally, after dozens of turns and a surprising change in character from Hunny, Haruhi was triumphant and moved her queen into the correct position.

"Hah! Check mate!"

"Oh, I guess you win." Hunny proclaimed, clearly satisfied with the result none the less. "How are you so good?"

"I'm not so great at it really," Haruhi said, clearly wondering why he was asking at all. It was only a simple chess game, right?

"But nobody," Hikaru started,

"And we mean _nobody_," Kaoru interjected,

"Beats Hunny-sempai at chess."

"Oh come on!" Haruhi declared, exasperated, "It was only a silly game!" She started packing up her bag. She stopped at the all too ominous sound of a notebook snapping shut.

"A silly game, you say?" The owner of the notebook declared. "Oh, I think not. Or at least, you wouldn't think so, would you Miss Fujioka? Or should I say, Miss Ayako Yukimura?"

**Woah woah woah woah woah. Manda. Stop the take. What was that? I thought you were trying to STICK TO THE STORY? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS YOU CALL WRITING? I'm sorry. I really am. And I know you're all thinking 'What the heck? She's gone for months and all we get is this lousy chapter with no exciting ending except for the cliff hanger which we probably won't get the conclusion to for MONTHS?' And yeah, I understand. But you've got to understand! I have this deadly disease! It's called writer's block! And it has no cure! So I tried to write anyway, and you get this piece of horrible writing. But you know what? DEAL WITH IT! I need material! I will try to be back soon, but I can't promise you anything. Please please please don't desert me while you wait! This chapter is also dedicated to my readers, even if I don't have any left!**


	5. Wild Boars?

**I have finally given in and decided to start actually outlining some plot. Weird, right? The notes for this chapter ended up being really funny. After I write it I guess we'll see if it's funnier than the chapter! Now, if you don't mind, my muses want to speak to you:**

_**Please, don't get us wrong.**_

**We are in no way responsible for whatever horribleness ends up in this chapter.**

_**So please, don't blame us, 'kay?**_

**Oh, and Manda doesn't own Ouran. If we had inspired that we would be rich.**

**Gee, thanks guys.**

Haruhi froze. The host club froze. Everyone froze.

Haruhi's brain was working at the speed of light, and it was clear as day to Kyoya what she was thinking. Something along the lines of, 'How did he know? No one wassupposed to know! I was told no one would find out!' And he was correct.

She stalked over to him, death in her eyes, giving him a glare that he was sure made the temperature drop at least 20 degrees. "How." She started, in a low and dangerous tone, "Did. You. Know. About. That?" The words hung in the air, and served to snap the others out of there slack-jawed trance.

"Ayako Yukimura?" They questioned, "You mean the famous book critic? The one that declined an invitation to the American President's White House the other day? What are you guys talking about?" Hikaru questioned.

"I'd tell you, but it isn't my choice. It's Haruhi's." Kyoya said, a dangerous gleam in his eye as he smirked at her. "And it is defiantly in her best interest to tell you. Believe me." He let out a dark chuckle.

"Haru-chan?" Hunny started, tears in his eyes, "What's going on?"

Haruhi kept her head down. "Fine," she said, obviously annoyed, "I'll tell you guys. Since it seems that SOMEONE let the cat out of the bag anyway. Yeah, I'm Ayako Yukimura, the world famous book critic and editor."

"We kind of figured that." Hikaru stated, rolling his eyes. "But why did you lie about it?"

"You could have been famous Haru- I mean Aya-chan!" Hunny cried, clearly confused at what to call her now that her secret was out.

"Haruhi." She implied firmly. "Ayako is a pen name. And I didn't say anything because I have no interest in being famous! Or rich! All I want to do is study, and go to a normal school filled with normal people. I wanted to know that I got into this fancy school because I was actually smart academically. Was that too much to ask? And now you're going to spill it all over the school and I'll never be able to be boring old Haruhi anymore. How utterly annoying. Unless," She stopped for a minute, then adopted an evil grin on her face. "Tamaki, you wouldn't spill a poor girls secret, would you?" She squeaked, trying to sound as much like the girls at Ouran as possible.

"Of course not, princess!" He said, dramatically throwing himself at her feet. "I promise we'll keep it forever!" Everybody rolled their eyes at this.

"And as for me, as much as I don't want to, I'm sticking around. I don't trust notebook guy over there."

**(a/n: I love you Kyoya! ^.^ I was going to stop it here, but that was only 500 words. :P So I'm giving you guys a present. Here's more!)**

Haruhi, true to her word, did stick around. All through the week she stayed with the Host Club, being teased by the twins, making fun of Tamaki, and joking with everyone else. Kyoya made sure to dangle the information that he could quite easily spill over her head, but she didn't mind. Besides, all he did was make her make them coffee and do other things.

There were, however, those who disliked her spending so much time with the Hosts. She met one of them just after she had been hanging around for a week.

When Tamaki called her over, she knew what was going on. He enjoyed introducing his Princesses to Haruhi, to see what she thought of them. She was a good judge of character. This girl, Princess Ayanokogi, took an instant dislike to Haruhi, and said as much.

On the other hand, Haruhi didn't like her either. Why would she? All she was doing was hanging out with some people she had an actual reason to be near. Why was this stuck up prat here? To waste time.

The relationship would have ended there, with them both subtly hating each other, but Ayanokogi seemed to seriously dislike all the time she was spending with Tamaki. Haruhi herself had no interest in him. He could go off and date one of these silly girls, and it wouldn't be any concern of hers. So just the fact that Ayanokogi was keeping Tamaki away from her was fine.

But when she threw a textbook of hers into the fountain? It was on.

Now if Haruhi had been in the Host Club, she probably wouldn't have told anyone. But, since she wasn't, she decided to recruit someone too help her teach Ayanokogi who's boss. The perfect accomplices? The Hitachiin twins.

These two were known to be massive pranksters, and loved a challenge, so when Haruhi approached them one day to ask if they would help her with creating the best prank ever, they jumped on the idea.

After they had gone, rushing off to buy supplies, Haruhi wondered if she had done the right thing. The look on the face of the twins assured her that she would not want to be the one being pranked. Yes, she decided, looking at her sopping wet law book that she would have to pay for, it was definably right. Now, the hardest part: waiting until it happened.

***The Next Day***

When it happened, it happened. She was sitting in Calculus during fifth period when the bell rang and Ayanokogi came running up to her, dress dirty and hair tangled, glaring. "You!" She screetched, "You did this! I'll get you for it! You'll be sorry!" And ran out again.

Looking to the smirking Hitachiins on either side of her, Haruhi tilted her head and asked, "What did you do?"

"Oh, nothing." Kaoru answered, a cheshire grin on his face.

"There may or may not have been wild boars involved though." Hikaru answered, and Haruhi shilvered.

***The Ouran Host Club Is Open For Business!***

In her defense, she didn't so much as look at Ayanokogi the rest of the day. Imagine her surprise when she saw who was sitting next to her at Hunny's table. When his back was turned, the angry girl turned to her. "I'll get you for that." She declared, and at Haruhi's confused face, she said, "Wild boars, marbles, and honey? You think I would know it was you? When I'm done with you, these Hosts will never let you back through those doors."

Haruhi, shrugged tiredly. "Whatever you say, Ayanokogi, whatever you say." And turned away.

The next few seconds were very fast, and Haruhi only registered two things. One, the girl next to her had smashed the water glass to the ground. Two, the same girl had a very unrealistic and dramatic fall, pulling Haruhi down with her.

Haruhi, sopping wet and lying on top of Ayanokogi, idly wondered how this was supposed to make anyone think anything. She picked herself up and offered a hand for Ayanokogi, who slapped it away screaming, "Commoner brute! Someone help me, this filthy poor person just attacked me!" Tamaki stepped over and opened his mouth to say something, but was promptly interrupted by Haruhi.

"You are out of your mind." She stated conversationally. "If I attacked you, why exactly did I do it in an open place? Why was your dialog said so forcedly, like it was all staged? Why did you fall so unrealistically?" At Ayanokogi's glare she put her hands up. "Don't glare at me! I'm just trying to point out that what you're saying makes absolutely no sense."

Tamaki then succeeded in getting a word in. "Princess," he began in a serious voice that Haruhi had never heard before and thought entirely unsuited for him, "What you are saying is a lie. And we do not take lies here in the Host Club. So I kindly ask you to get out, and never return again. Consider yourself banned from the third music room from here on out." Ayanokogi walked out the door with her head low.

As the girls screamed and rushed over to tell Tamaki about how impressive he was, Haruhi let a smile onto her face. Evil was vanquished and good had triumphed again. It was such a corny thought that she mentally slapped herself for sounding like an old comic book.

However, Haruhi could tell that this was only a small portion of what she would endure with the Hosts. She asked herself, then and there, whether she really wanted to deal with that.

And looking at the people she was just now beginning to call her friends, looking at Hunny and Mori eating cake together, Hikaru and Kaoru teasing Tamaki, and Kyoya writing in his notebook, she felt stupid for asking it at all. "What an weird question to ask," She mused to herself, "When I knew the answer all along."

**And scene! That's a rap! And muses, what did you think of that?**

**Okay, okay, it was pretty good.**

_**But at the same time, it sounds like you just ended the story!**_

**Oh no, no no no no no no no. In fact, this story might end up being really long. I've decided to pretty much try and write what every single episode would be like if she were a girl. Sound fun?**

**I guess.**

_**Sure.**_

**Alright, but I'm still going to let Haruhi have a closer bond with the Hosts then all the other guests. I could erase that if I tried. Did you like it? This one's not dedicated to all the people who have reviewed and subbed so far. Thanks!**


	6. A Kiss and A Dash of Backstory

**Hello. *sigh* You know how I was talking about sticking to canon and stuff like that? Well too bad. When I tried to write this chapter the first time, it was a lot like the original story, which I think is boring. The second time? Yup, same thing. The only way I found to rectify that was to make Haruhi have a different background then what she comes from in the book. For example, she's actually just as rich as, say, one of the hosts, but she uses that money very, very differently. Got it?**

**This chapter is dedicated to fullmoonsinner, because you're review convinced be to get my but into gear and write this. But I think you over estimated my genious-tendancies. Almost all the things you mentioned in your review were complete accidents or coincidences, but I thank you for talking about them just the same! =^_^=**

**Don't sue me! I don't own these characters!**

For the next couple of days, things were quiet. Entirely too quiet, for Haruhi's liking. The phrase 'calm before the storm' flashed into her head as she rose from bed that morning. She glanced at the clock, which read 5:00. School started at nine, but Haruhi had things to do. She went to her desk and pulled out the manuscript for the new book in a hot series which everyone seemed to be reading.

Haruhi hadn't enjoyed it at all; the main character had been flighty and could never seem to stick to one decision. Part of what drew people to the series was the fact that the girl in the book had six guys to choose from, but she never seemed to even lean towards any of them. In all honesty, Haruhi hated people like that.

She finished writing the review and sent it off to her agent, who she knew would then send it to many different large newspapers across the globe. She looked at the clock again, and upon seeing that it was now 8:45 said a hurried goodbye to her dad and began the short walk to school at a slightly faster pace than she would have liked.

The thing about Haruhi was that she was very good at seeing the details of life, which was what made her such a good book critic. For instance, she was aware that the character she was currently playing (i.e. a poor, but brilliant, scholarship student) would never be able to come to school in a limo, or even a car.

Did it bother her that she was forced to walk everywhere instead of taking the cars she really did own? Not at all, for Haruhi really was a brilliant girl, and she knew that because of these small sacrifices (a bag lunch instead of a school one, replicated dress instead of the real thing) she would actually get credit where credit was due.

No one cared if a rich person was brilliant, but everyone thought it was amazing that a poor girl from a horrible background was. Because Haruhi hadn't come from a rich childhood at all; she had, in fact, come from a rather beat up old apartment in a poor part of town. **(a/n she lived in the house she has in the anime/manga)**

Haruhi had learned to read extremely early, and by that I mean by the age of three she was reading the newspaper. By the time she was four she could read and write just as well as her father. On her fifth birthday she discovered the wonders of the computer, and that combined with an advertisement in the newspaper for a good reviewer gave her a brilliant idea. She would pretend to be someone older, and write a review of the book herself! She submitted the review as Ayako Yukimura, and was delighted to find that they asked her back.

During the last ten years, Ayako Yukimura had risen from small newspaper jobs to reviews in decidedly well-read newspapers around the world. She had caught the eye of some very influential people over the years, including the United States president, and had become the deciding factor for many people on whether they would buy a book or not.

For example, when her new review came out the hot series probably wouldn't be so well read. If Ayako said it was bad, it was, and that was that.

As Haruhi thought of all this, of her great rise to fame and how amazing it was that no one had guessed, except for Kyoya, that the very first review was submitted by a five-year-old, and that the person that everyone put so much stock into was, in fact a girl who was just starting highschool, the day had been going on around her. Suddenly, it was time for the Host Club to open, and she was sitting next to Hunny listening politely to a short haired girl rant on about her life, and how Hunny was the best thing in it. The odd thing was that she could have sworn that she had been saying the same thing about Tamaki last week.

The twins, who had noticed her interest in the girl, pulled her away to explain.

"That's Kanako Kasugazaki." They said together, pointing at her.

"Nice looking girl." Said Hikaru,

"It's a shame she has," Kaoru continued,

"The disease." They said together.

"Disease?" Haruhi questioned, now imagining Kanako with something contagious.

"Host hopping." Kaoru explained. "It's what we call it when a girl doesn't stick to one host, but instead flits between all six."

Haruhi rolled her eyes; that was exactly what she had hated about the book this morning. "Well she doesn't seem really interested in any of you."

Kaoru's eyebrow rose. "How can you tell?"

Haruhi laughed. "There's a character in a book I just reviewed that had a similar problem. It always seemed to me that she was just looking around, rather than actually trying to find someone to like. The difference between that situation and this one is that Kanako could actually be in love with someone else." She went back to Hunny's table, leaving the bemused Hitachiins behind her.

"Wow. She's good." They said together, then returned to their own guests.

Back with Kanako, Haruhi was paying close attention to what she did. When she came back with a tea tray, and Kanako was able to name every one, she jumped on the chance. "Say, Kanako, you're very knowledgeable about these teacups. Where did you learn all that?" The flustered girl spluttered about not knowing what she was talking about, and that she didn't really know them well at all. Haruhi smirked inwardly. "Got you." She said to herself.

Just then, in came a boy. This in itself was odd, since there rarely were any males at all considering they would be teased for life if they ever set foot inside. When she inquired about him, she found that this was Tohru Suzushima, a young man who's father designed teacups and who was, in Kyoya's words, quite boring. She turned back to Hunny to find that Kanako had thrown herself onto her short blond friend, and only released her hold when Tohru left. She blinked once, twice, and then snapped her fingers. "Kanako, you aren't by any chance in love with Tohru, are you?"

Kyoya turned to her, "I'm not sure about love, but I know they're engaged."

This, of course, caused an uproar in the host club.

"Mother!" Tamaki shouted in his face, "Why did you not tell us?"

"Because it didn't have anything to do with _us_." He said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "But I am curious, Haruhi, how did you know?"

Said girl, who had been tending to a now spazzing Kanako, looked up. "It sounded like something out of a book."

The Hosts glanced at each other and shrugged as if to say 'Why not?' and returned to the problem at hand. "You know," Tamaki started, "we could do something to reunite them at the ball we're holding next week."

Haruhi's eyes snapped open. "What? You're holding a ball next week?" She was surprised, although she supposed she shouldn't be, considering who she was dealing with.

"Yes! We are! And you're invited! Won't that be fun?" Tamaki cried, babbling on about how he was going to get to dance with his 'little girl' and how amazing it would be. Haruhi just rolled her eyes.

***Ball Night***

Haruhi sat in the back of Ouran's crowded ball room, feeling inpatient and more than slightly annoyed. She had work to do right now, and she hadn't wanted to come in the first place, but was dragged here by the Hitachiins, who had forced her into a dress and had somehow gotten her in four inch heels.

In the last week, the Host Club had gone through some of the worst plan ideas Haruhi had ever heard. She had been invited to join them in their scheming of how to get Tohru and Kanako together and so had been able to, with Kyoya's help, talk them out of their crazier plans. They had come very close to using a plot that involved the left over wild boars, and it had taken the combined efforts of Mori, Kyoya, and Haruhi to talk them out of it.

What they had finally gone with was what Haruhi was pushing for all along; to just put the spotlight on both of them and say, "Dude. Get together. Seriously." Now Haruhi was waiting for six, so the plan could be over and done with and she could go home.

She also had no interest in seeing which one of the girls would be elected the Queen of the Ball, and got to kiss Tamaki. That would involve lots of screaming and crying, which would bother her to no end.

As it was she had been forced to dance with every member of the Host Club, something she really hadn't wanted to do. Half the girls in the room had been glaring at her by the end of it all, since they had given her special permission to cut the line so she could dance with them.

At 5:50 she was visited, to her surprise, by Mori, who picked her up over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes and brought her to where all the Host Club was meeting. "Hey!" She exclaimed indignantly, "What was that for!"

"There's been a slight change of plans." Kyoya explained in a voice that clearly told her, 'I tried to tell them you wouldn't like it'.

"Yes, Haruhi! We want _you_ to tell Kanako and Tohru to realize their feelings, instead of us. We think they'll take it better from you." Tamaki yelled loudly.

Haruhi, who didn't think that made any sense, was about to protest when a microphone was pushed into her hands and she was thrust onto the balcony with a spot light on her. Sighing, she began, thinking in her head that she was about to destroy them when she got back. "Today, the Ouran Host Club would like to recognize two people for the best relationship of the night." She began in a loud voice into the mic.

One spotlight flashed onto Kanako, another on Tohru. "We would like to wish them luck in their relationship." They gave confused looks at each other, and then at Haruhi, but they finally realized that people were clapping and they should embrace. That they did, and with some whispered words to each other they left arm in arm, heading in the direction of the rose garden. Haruhi gave a satisfied smile at the crowd, and then walked back to where the Hosts were standing.

"That went rather well!" She said, happy because they seemed to have worked out whatever problems they were having. "And now, I'm leaving."

"Haru . . . you're leaving already?" Hunny sniffled, his eyes, which had been happy, now filled with what were probably fake tears. "We only have one more thing to do." Haruhi pouted, but stayed where she was.

This time, Hikaru and Kaoru took the mic and walked to the balcony. "Well ladies, we only have one more thing to do, and that's award the title of Queen of the Ball!" They said together.

"And the winner is . . ." Hikaru started,

"Someone we all agreed on," Kaoru continued,

"Haruhi!" They finished as one.

"Now she will be rewarded with a kiss on the cheek from our king!" Hikaru said, but was interrupted by Kyoya.

"There has been a slight change of plans, everybody!" He began in his charming host voice. "Instead of Tamaki, Kaoru will be giving Haruhi a kiss!" The room, including the Hosts, gasped.

All the same, Kaoru turned to Haruhi with an apologetic smile on his face. He made his way towards her, but failed to see the banana peel under his feet. He slid in her direction, hitting her and finding that he was kissing her full in the lips. He jumped backwards as Kyoya smirked and Tamaki watched wide eyed. Haruhi, who was now extremely flustered and confused, turned on her heel and ran towards the door.

The Hosts gave a smile to the girls below them, then turned towards each other, still trying to comprehend what just happened. They never really did figure it all out. Why had Kyoya switched the people at the last moment? Why did Haruhi run out? And where the heck had that banana peel come from?

Kyoya sat in the shadows, smirking. Not only had he managed to find what flustered Haruhi, but he had also succeeded in finding out what had stumped them that first time she had met them. For him, it was a good night.

As for Haruhi, she ran all the way home and prepared for sleep in a daze, work forgotten. What was that? Why was her heart beating so fast? How had the whole night changed so fast?

It wasn't until she was checking her emails before bed when she found the space in her thoughts to wonder if Kanako and Tohru had realized their feelings. Her answer was in her work inbox.

There was an email there from the author of the hit series Haruhi had just reviewed. She was asking whether Haruhi liked the idea she had for her next book. She wondered if Haruhi would like it if in the next book the main character found that she really was in love with her childhood friend, not any of the six original boys. Haruhi replied that yes, she would like that very much and she would certainly review it once it came out.

It wasn't until she was in bed that she realized that the author's initials had been KK.

**Hey everyone! It's me! Did you like my super long chapter? I hope so, because it took a really long time to write. This chapter is around a thousand words longer than normal. BE HAPPY! I'm sorry it took so long. Summer is a really busy time for me. Oh, and by the way, in case it wasn't clear KK is Kanako. No, she doesn't know about Haruhi's secret identity. It was just a coincidence. A great big thank you to all of my reviewers, and to all the silent readers out there.**


	7. Opinions On People

**Hello, people! Relatively quick update, no? Well, for me it was anyway. Hooray for not waiting months to update! This is a pretty short chapter, I'm sorry to say. For some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to write in the third episode. Don't hate me! And I reveal what the pairing will be in this chapter. Hooray! It's not exactly what I expected, or should I say **_**who**_** I expected, but it just sort of slipped out while I was writing it. More about it at the bottom though, so I don't spoil the chapter for you! =^.^=**

**Disclaimer: Nya! Nyanyanyanyanyaaaaaa! (That's cat for no, I don't own Ouran, by the way.)**

The first thing Haruhi did when she woke up the next morning was shower. She had been so tired when she came back from the ball that she had gone to bed in her dress and make up. Now her face felt heavy and her entire body felt unclean. She didn't like the sensation. As she stepped into the shower she thought a bit about what had happened the previous night. "Why did Kyoya do that?" She mused out loud. He could have just as easily kept her kissing Tamaki, though she had to admit that it wasn't a very desirable thought.

Upon that thought she decided to think a bit about how she felt about the Host Club members. She decided to start with the King; Tamaki. He was someone she didn't have all together much of an opinion of. He seemed to like her, in a father daughter sort of way, but she supposed that that could be a cover up for something more.

Maybe.

But she would deal with that when she absolutely had too, and not before.

Anyway, moving on, she found herself thinking about the twins. There were things about them that she liked, and things she didn't. Like the pranking. That could definitely go. But, Haruhi mused, it was a vital part of their characters, so wouldn't it do more harm to get rid of it? Ugh, she really had to stop thinking about people like fictional characters. Some day it was going to get someone mad at her.

But back on the subject of the twins, she found that she liked Kaoru more. After all, he had always seemed like the gentler type, especially when compared to Hikaru, and especially when they were alone. And besides, didn't the fact that she hadn't minded kissing him prove that she didn't exactly detest his company?

On to Kyoya. He, out of all the Hosts, seemed to be in control, not Tamaki, as much as he liked to think he was. Kyoya liked to play games. He also liked to manipulate people to find out answers or gain something for himself. It's what made her wonder if there was some ulterior motive for making her kiss Kaoru, and also what made her want to get him into the business of writing. People who like to have lives in the palm of their hand always do well as authors.

Haruhi also believed, even though it was unlike her to ever think about this, that Kyoya was the only one who fit the dictionary definition of 'attractive'. An attractive personality, attractive looks, attractive intellect. But at the same time, he didn't strike her as someone she could have a serious relationship with. And anyway, where did that thought come from? She was just doing an analysis of their personalities and her opinions on them. She should leave dating out of it.

Moving on. Mori. What could she say about him besides the fact that he didn't talk much? He was very good at hiding his emotions, or maybe he just didn't have any. Nah, Haruhi decided, it had to be the first one. Either way, it was still odd that he loved to protect Hunny so much, even when Hunny seemed to contrast his personality so much. But opposites attract, right?

Which brings her to the last member of the Host Club: Mitsukuni Haninozuka. Haruhi always saw him as the most complex character, er, person in the Host Club. After all, most of them only had one side to them. Not Hunny though, he seemed to have more like two or three. There was his playful, cake loving, sweet side, then there was his serious and mature side. He also had his sadistic and, quite honestly, slightly scary side that Haruhi noticed he always had when in the Karate dojo and when woken up from a nap. What intrigued Haruhi was that these sides seemed to exist as one in his everyday actions. At the same time, though, that didn't make sense. How could one be sweet as well as serious and scary? Thinking about it gave Haruhi a headache.

Apparently, it also gave her a stomach ache and a cold. After all, why else would her heart be beating so fast and her cheeks be so red? Maybe she should give herself a break every once and a while. She decided to skip school.

Today, she would rest.

***Ouran Academy***

"MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYY!" Screamed a certain blond as he ran across the schoolyard, causing quite a few heads to turn in his direction.

Kyoya, who had been waiting for him near the fountain in the middle, pushed up his glasses in annoyance. "What is it now?" He asked, a vain pulsing in his forehead. "Why must you be so loud at such an early time?"

"Yeah." Said a deep voice from behind him, and Kyoya turned to see Mori (with a sleepy Hunny on his back) come up behind him.

"Some of us like to _sleep_ at this time of day." Hunny said in a voice quite unlike his usual falsetto.

"Slept through your alarm clock again, huh Hunny-Senpai." The twins said with a smirk, walking up to the rest of the hosts. Hunny just growled in response.

"So the gangs all here, excluding Haruhi. Was there something you would like to tell us Tamaki?" Kyoya asked, hoping to end this quickly and get to class.

"YES!" Tamaki yelled. "My little Haruhi just sent me a cryptic message, and I need to figure out what it says!"

"Well, read it to us then."

"_Tamaki,_

_Won't be at school today. I'm sick. Tell everyone not to wait for me at club activities._

_-Haruhi_"Tamaki read. "See, whatever could it mean?"

"Oh yes," Began evil sleepy Hunny, "I wonder. It couldn't possibly mean that, hm, SHE'S SICK AND WON'T BE AT SCHOOL TODAY now could it. Oh definitely not."

"Mitsukuni." Mori said in what sounded like a warning tone, "Let's get to class." He nodded his head in farewell to the Host Club and walked in the direction of the third year wing, Hunny now sleeping peacefully on his back.

"We should go too." The twins said together. "Bye, Kyoya-Senpai, Boss." They too walked off, leaving Kyoya with Tamaki.

"Come on, let's go too." He said, but Tamaki didn't move. "For goodness sake, she'll probably be back tomorrow!" He pushed his friend off in the direction of their classroom.

But Haruhi didn't come back the next day. She didn't come back until Monday, after the weekend was over. She had gotten all her schoolwork from the twins, so she wasn't behind, but still something was bothering her. Perhaps it was the fact that she hadn't really had any symptoms of an illness besides the rapid heartbeat and hot face. She thought that maybe she had just had a mild cold, but really, wouldn't she be sneezing? And throughout the whole time, she couldn't focus on anything. What kind of sickness makes you easily distractible?

She refused to give answers to any questions on where she was besides 'I was sick'. A lot of her fangirls at the club had gone into mild depression while she was gone, so she had that to deal with too. Haruhi readily through herself into hosting, trying to get off her mind the one person who seemed to be plaguing her thoughts.

You see, besides the fever and rapid heartbeat, she was having other odd symptoms, once less easily written off. For instance, there always seemed to be one person on her mind when she was trying to concentrate. In fact, he was on her mind even when she wasn't trying to focus.

By the end of the week she was sure she knew what she had contracted.

Hunnyitis.

**Aaaah! I know! Hunny/Haruhi! It may be one of my favorite pairings, but I really didn't expect it to end up that way in this fanfic. I mean really. I was leaning towards Kyoya or Kaoru, but then my fingers just demanded this. I don't know why, sicne I usually don't question them on matters like this. Anyway, did you like it? I hope you did. Once again, thank you to all my reviewers and alert/fav people! I'll try to be back soon! **

**Oh, and I might finish this story soon and start writing a story about Hunny's life, but I don't know. Opinions?**


	8. The Beginning Of The End

**So you know that story about Hunny's life I said I might possibly write? I did. And kinda sorta forgot to update this. Today, when reading back through it, I found that, well, it kind of stinks, doesn't it? I mean maybe the last couple of chapters weren't so bad, but honestly I'm kind of surprised anyone stuck around long enough to realize that it wasn't all absolute doo-doo. Now I'm not saying that I can do any better now (I hope I can, but no promises) I just mean that I've realized that well, I really stunk. And I'm sorry. I'm eager to finish this story and move on, so it'll probably be just this chapter and maybe one more. (At the point of writing this I have not actually written the chapter and I'm just as in the dark about what will happen as you.)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.**

By the time had Haruhi turned in her review for the week, she was exhausted. The whole week had been absolutely full of lame excuses,

(oh no, I can't come to the host club today, I've caught a deadly and contagious disease)

bad acting,

(HACK HACK COUGH COUGH OH YES I'M DYING)

and other miscellaneous forms of lying.

(No really, you don't have to come over. The doctor says I'll live.)

In other words, it had been a pretty crazy week.

It turned out that avoiding the host club was much easier said than done.

As the week progresses, she had been doing some experiments. First, she would imagine sitting next to Hunny. Then hugging him. Her thoughts stopped there.

Just the thought of all that made her face look like she had mistaken ketchup for face cream. She found herself daydreaming about him, something so out of character for her that she had to actually slap herself.

It was actually suspicious that she had fallen for him so suddenly. If you thought about it she had only known him for, what, a couple of weeks? Ouran seemed to be a place full of crazy things though, so maybe she shouldn't be all that surprised.

When finally the week was done and Haruhi was able to sit and rest, her thoughts immediately turned to what she would do the following Monday.

Obviously she could not avoid her newfound friends forever. If there was one thing she had learned from reading so many books it was that running away never really solved anything in the end.

The real problem would be how to go about facing them when she eventually had to.

Her more rational side rolled her eyes at her behavior. After all, none of her friends actually knew anything was different. She could walk in to school on Monday and they would see nothing wrong.

Maybe they would ask her how she was feeling after her miraculous recovery from her *cough cough* deadly disease, but it wasn't as if the first thing Tamaki would do would be to accuse her of was liking Hunny.

_But what else have we learned from books? _Cried the romantic side, apparently at war with the rational side, _Crushed always get out, in the end! It'll happen!_

Slightly miffed at the fact that she was talking to herself but seeing the wisdom of both sides' advice, Haruhi put her head in her hands.

Oh, how much easier it would have been if she had cut her hair all off and gone to Ouran as a boy! She could have had a nice relationship with Tamaki or Hikaru or someone not so controversial as Hunny.

Well that was all water under the bridge now. The time for moping was long gone. For now she would sit herself down on her couch and have an off day. Maybe she'd watch Pride & Prejudice and eat pop corn. It would just be that kind of weekend.

***The Ouran Host Club Is Open For Business***

When Haruhi arrived at music room 3 Monday afternoon, she recalled her days since coming to Ouran. Somehow, in a couple short weeks, she had gone from thinking the people in this room were sketchy creeps to being friends with and even liking them.

If she was being honest with herself, it had been a really awesome time.

Sighing with the knowledge that she shouldn't put it off any longer, Haruhi pushed open the door.

And walked into an empty room.

Well no, that wasn't quite true. Sitting in the corner, minding his own business, was one lone figure.

"H-Hunny-Senpai!" Was all Haruhi could splutter out.

Immediately her cheeks heated up, a blush splashing across her cheeks.

Fortunately Hunny was too busy jumping on his friend to notice anything odd, so her strange reaction went unnoticed.

"HARUHI!" Was his enthusiastic greeting. "We all missed you so much!"

"Haruhi?" The girl in question said, raising an eyebrow at the lack of honorifics.

"O-oh. Right." Hunny looked a bit startled, as if confused by the mistake. His character slipped a bit as he blinked rapidly, his own blush telling a very interesting story as it crept along his face."Of course I meant Haru-chan, how could I forget!"

"Oh no, really, it's alright." Haruhi hastily assured. They lapsed into an extremely awkward silence.

"You know we should-"

"Haru-chan I-"

They both started at the same time. Of course they both gestured wildly for the other to continue, until finally Hunny bravely took the chance.

"I think, sometime, we should see a movie. Like, tonight maybe. After Karate practice."

Haruhi's eyes snapped open. Was this an invitation to a date? "Like on a date?" Blunt as ever.

Hunny's blush deepened. "Only if you want. We could invite the others too, if that would be better-"

"No really, it's fine." Came Haruhi's hasty reply. If the rest of the Host Club came, well, she didn't even want to think about that.

But maybe she would have to because just at that moment a loud CRASH could be heard from the hallway.

The door slowly swung open to reveal the rest of the host club, regarding them with all levels of sheepish looks at being caught eavesdropping, but managing to look slightly outraged at the same time.

Haruhi swallowed.

This wasn't good.


	9. The End

**This is it. The last chapter. Thank you to all who stuck around! I'm sure the ending will be rushed, but I simply have no muse for this story anymore, and frankly I have too much writing to do on the internet. I've been writing all morning! So goodbye and thank you to everyone!**

**Disclaimer: Just reaaaaallly think about it. Am I the owner of Ouran? No.**

"YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING OF THE SORT!"

Tamaki's yell was, as always, was loud enough so that everyone in the entire building could hear.

"Tamaki-Sempai! Calm down!" yelled a shocked Haruhi, just having gotten over her surprise at the fact that all the host club members were, apparently, spying on her.

"Haruhi! As your father I will not allow this-this blasphemous relationship to continue! I must nip this teenage rebellion in the bud!"

"I'm NOT your daughter, Tamaki-Sempai. This isn't teenage rebellion! This isn't even a relationship! It's just me, going on a date with Hunny. Get it through your head! It's none of your business!"

"Wait," Hunny said, speaking for the first time, "I have something to ask." He looked gravely up at Tamaki, his face completely serious, "Tama-chan, will you allow me to date your daughter? I would like, with your permission, to take her out on a date for dinner tomorrow."

Everyone in the room sweatdropped, besides Hunny and Tamaki who were completely into it. "Oh Hunny-Sempai, when you put it like that how could I refuse? Of course I'll let you date my darling daughter!" Turning to Haruhi he whispered, "I'm so glad you found such a polite young man! Your daddy would never have forgiven you if you had ended up with one of those blasted doppelgangers."

Haruhi blushed angrily, pushing Tamaki away from her. She turned to Hunny, nodding once to him.

They walked hand and hand out the door.

***In The Days That Followed***

For many days thereafter the relationship between the scholarship student and the member of the host club was the talk of the entire school.

Everywhere they went there were people watching them, congratulating or glaring or doing other, ruder things.

The media went crazy, as the media often does. Rumors of scandal and other things flew all over for a very long time.

Haruhi and Hunny remained oblivious to most of it, however. The rest of the Hosts had put aside their personal feelings aside in favor of seeing their two good friends happy. Using their combined influences most of the worst articles about them mysteriously disappeared from print the day after they came out.

As for Haruhi being a world renowned book critic? That did, eventually, come out. One morning, after a long night of studying for finals at Ouran university (the place she had been immediately accepted to, majoring in law and minoring in creative writing), she had accidentally left a review open in the library on a word document to be found by a talkative librarian who, of course, told the entire rest of the school.

It wasn't quite as bad as she had imagined, although many producers were miffed because their older movies had originally been unsuccessful due to the reviews of a little girl.

The school mostly found it hilarious, but some did come up to her to ask her to review things which she almost always did, whether publicly or privately.

And soon after that the world had other things to worry about, namely the fact that said critic's marriage to Mitsukuni Haninozuka was suddenly announced.

Some nights, when Haruhi sat with her husband (still comically short even after graduating university ) she wondered what would have happened if the boy who had stuck gum in her hair had stuck it higher, and if she had cut off all her hair and been mistaken for a boy.

It was a wonder the difference Just An Inch can make.


End file.
